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It’s the greatest love of all! At least that’s what Whitney Houston belted out in her eponymous rendition of the song that is synonymous with self-love.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve walked through a great deal of my life with rose colored glasses on. I’m the eternal optimist, the girl who sees the good in everyone and everything. It’s a great trait to have at times, but I have to admit that it may actually have been a fault of mine. Sometimes I see good that isn’t there, and sometimes I operate under the assumption that the people in my life love themselves. I mean, who doesn’t love themselves, right?

Image result for i hate myself gif

Well, I’ve come to learn as I’ve grown older that a lot of people don’t (and from the looks of the gif above, I should have realized that around the the tenth time I saw “The Breakfast Club”!) It’s sad, but it’s a fact of life that I’ve had to come to grips with. There are some people who hate themselves so much that they can’t help but be toxic in the lives of others. Their communication style is poisonous; they don’t know how to listen or speak, and frequently shut people out as punishment and never truly working at joint problem solving. They don’t know how to give love or receive it so they aren’t good at keeping sincere, close relationships. And they often blame everyone else for the bitterness and misery that they find in their lives instead of analyzing themselves and changing their own behaviors.

Perhaps you aren’t quite this far gone and you aren’t what people would call miserable or bitter, but maybe you battle with self-confidence or self-esteem issues. You let people take advantage of you and mistreat you and use you because you want acceptance and love, and you’ll sacrifice the acceptance and love that you have for yourself in order to find it somewhere else. That’s no way to live.

At the heart of the matter, it’s probably safe to say that we all battle with treating ourselves like the royalty that we are from time to time. But there’s hope for all of us.

Try incorporating these 3 simple things into your life.

  1. Write yourself a love letter. Yeah it sounds cheesy, but what’s the harm in a little cheese? Tell yourself all the things you admire about you, the things you might be dreaming of hearing from someone else. Write how much you appreciate your own uniqueness and inner (and outer) beauty. Do this any time you need to boost your spirits.
  2. Start a cleanse. Detox your body from the inside out. Eliminate processed and fast food and eat sensibly. Try a raw diet. Do something radical (but HEALTHY) with your diet. Drink lots of water. Literally flush your body of bad things and fill it with good things. Love the temple that you’ve been blessed with. You might decide to make the lifestyle changes permanent.
  3. Pamper the skin you’re in. Rub yourself down in shea butter or coconut oil with loving strokes. Speak kindly to your body, telling it that you’re grateful for the role it plays in your life. For example, as you slather your legs, thank them for taking you where you need to go. As you moisturize your hands, thank them for the work that they do preparing meals, caring for your family, doing the work at your job, etc. Basically, love yourself up while rubbing yourself down. I’m not saying to take it “there” but if that’s where it goes, so it goes!

I have loads more tips and life hacks on how to love yourself so fiercely that you completely change your life, and will be sharing them LIVE on Periscope on Monday, March 27 at 6 PM, CST. There’s also going to be a ton of good stuff in my upcoming book Queening – A Guide to Treating Yourself like Royalty and Radically Changing Your Life. Make sure to add me on Periscope and join in, and if you’re busy then, you can catch me pon de replay.

During the next couple of days, things are going to be quite active in outer space. Some of you are wondering what the heck I’m getting at, LOL, and that’s okay. I’m going to explain.

space

Tonight is a full moon, and through parts of tonight and tomorrow, there’s a green comet blazing through the sky (the New Year’s Comet or Comet 45P), and there will be a penumbral lunar eclipse, which means the Sun, Earth, and the Moon will align in an almost straight line (learn more about exactly what that means here). But what else does that mean besides the fact that things will look like the set up to a perfect trick shot on a pool table in the sky?

kanesmooth

It means that it’s the perfect time to invoke change, growth and spiritual transformation in your life!

The lunar eclipse, the full moon and the comet mean that the sky is going to be pretty active, even if we can’t see it. And I believe, like many, that as above, so below. So if the stars and planets are doing a special dance in the sky, that means things are going to get shaking here on earth. Let’s break that down a little more.

Comets are really interesting. Comets always get people up in arms. Will it hit us? Miss us? Is it a sign from God of a bad omen or a good one? Is the world going to end? We really have no way of knowing (well, there’s NASA but you know what I mean, right?) so I don’t particularly like to focus on that. I don’t like to get too easy to get caught up in doom and gloom. But one of the most fascinating things about comets is that they are made up of all the elements (fire, air, earth, and water) existing together and releasing themselves in various ways and at various times. Dust combines with ice and gas and is then combusted by fire and everything releases into the atmosphere.

comet-45phonda-mrkos-pajdusakova-will-zoom-past-earth-this-week-this-green-comet-will-be-closest

(Comet 45 P)

So I like to think of comets as a method of release, of letting go of things that are frozen inside, things that are dusty, things that drown us and things that set us on fire. We can release it into the ether and let the bad go and allow the good to manifest. We can literally set the skies on fire with our power, ideas, dreams and light!

And that leads me to the moon…

This full moon is also in my astrological sign Leo, (for all you Leo’s who want to know how this will affect you, click here) so I’m kinda stoked about that, but even if you aren’t a Leo, this full moon and eclipse can be really special for you.

leo_horoscope

According to the Farmer’s Almanac, this month’s full moon is called the snow moon or the full hunger moon, because February is usually the month that the most snow falls and is difficult for hunting. But that doesn’t mean that this full moon has to be difficult for you.

The moon represents our inner selves: our emotions, desires, dreams and the person we long to be but can’t always be. When it’s full, sometimes we feel pretty full ourselves. Full moons are a time to unleash those dreams we’ve held inside and let creativity and imagination take over. With the full moon being in Leo, the sign that rules entertainment and creativity, it’s a superb time to let your artistic side loose and use it to make your life better and help make our crazy world a better place. After all, that’s what art and creative manifestations do.

And with a lunar eclipse taking place, now is the time to move past, to literally eclipse ANYTHING that has been holding you back or keeping you in the dark. When you move past something you transform. You change.

citsci_monarch_metamorphasis_fl_hw_sid

So how do you invoke this amazing transformation? Do you let the stars do what they do or are there action steps that can be taken? You already know what I’m going to say, right? Let the stars do what they do but TAKE ACTION!
Reflect. No matter where you are on your journey, look back to see how far you’ve come. You’ve probably done so much to be proud of that you didn’t even realize. Make a list. Journal. And give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve earned it!
Be Grateful. Thank the universe, God and the people in your life who have helped you to get to where you are. Oh, you thought you did it all on your own? Nonsense. You had help. Gratitude is a surefire way to increase the flow of blessings in your life and to vibrate higher.
De-clutter. Clean up a little. Get rid of clothes you don’t need and make room in your closet. Cut off negative people. Been hanging on to a friendship or relationship that isn’t working? Let it go. Getting rid of things (and people) that aren’t useful makes room for new things (and people).
Venture out. Mythology says that the full moon is the time when evil spirits like demons, werewolves and vampires walk the earth. Well grab some Florida water, silver bullets and a garlic necklace and go out anyway. Try something new. Go to a new place. Expand your horizons. If you keep doing the same old thing you’ll never transform.
Strut your stuff! Don’t go out without looking your best. If the moon and the stars are gonna look all fancy, flashy and sparkly, you should too!
Stay POSITIVE! Many believe that full moons magnify the heart’s intentions. If that is the case, why not intend on something wonderful happening? Don’t let whatever’s been getting you down keep you down or worse, magnify! Write down all the wonderful things you’d like to see happen and start working towards them coming true.
Now, I’m gonna hit the gym. I’d better look great for all this magic that’s about to go down!
Enjoy your weekend! I hope something magical happens for you!

Peace & Positive Vibes,
Meta

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So folks, we now have a new president elect of the good old U. S. of A and lots of people (myself included) aren’t all that thrilled about it. But what was especially surprising to me was how impactful the results were to some people. I am seeing a lot of really emotional responses (and throwing a few into the atmosphere myself) to the election. All over my various social media timelines were people whose feelings ranged from disappointment, to anger, to hopelessness, to fear, to complete and utter depression. I understand those feelings, so I hope that you understand me when I say that we must not let our emotions get the best of us. We must transform those emotions and that passion we feel into fuel to continue whatever missions we’re on in life.

*in my Iyanla voice* Oh beloveds! I know how difficult this is to process. I know it feels like a giant setback to progress that began 8 years ago. But try to process those emotions quickly and definitely don’t allow who sits in the Oval Office to determine your destiny. Yes, the President and government have a lot of power, but ultimately, you are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul (I taught my students Invictus the other week; it’s still lodged in my brain!). You may be feeling like the progress you or your community made was all for nothing, and you were set back 1000 years. But it is only that way if you let it be.

You see, setbacks and disappointments are often doorways to life’s biggest opportunities. When you don’t get what you want the first time around, you find alternative methods, you become flexible and more creative with problem solving. You find other means to your end. You become more self-sufficient and you also find and bond with those who are meant to be a part of your tribe.

My Uncle, Chief Monroe Smith, always said that when he was told he couldn’t have or do something when he was the fire chief of Compton, that he had the same response: “Don’t tell me what the fuck I can’t do! Tell me what you’re going to do to help me get what I want!” Ah, spoken like a true Smith. We’re a feisty bunch. But we get shit done.

I’m definitely feeling every bit my uncle’s niece right now. Don’t tell me what I’m going to lose or how I’m going to hurt or suffer because of the regime change. Don’t you dare put that evil on me Ricky Bobby! Speak life over my life, not doom and gloom! Tell me what you can do, what we can do to make things better.

Do you truly want change, or just to wallow in unhappiness and dissatisfaction? If you aren’t happy with something, you can either complain, or you can mobilize and continue fighting to make a difference. I think that the latter option is the better one.

Life isn’t over today, regardless of who won, not if you’re reading this. So if you’re alive, commit to making a difference in the ways that you can and connect with people who can help you. Don’t give up fighting for justice (or peace-ing for justice), don’t give up hope, don’t give up on life or on love.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

What are you waiting for?

Do something wonderful and don’t let anyone stop you!

It’s funny that all over Chicago I see stuff like this:

An image I captured on a Chicago street
An image I captured on a Chicago street

Messages from God, or at least from conscious graffiti artists, are real. I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. If you do me wrong, I will not forget it and chances are I won’t let you forget it either. Sometimes, I’ll remind you of how wrong you are every, single time that I see you. Others, I’ll wait for the opportune moment to strike back like a viper.

Pretty terrible, huh? I can admit it. I’m human. Just like you are. Just like the people who do us wrong in life. And God isn’t finished with any of us yet! Can you sense where I’m going with this? No one is perfect. People make mistakes. And even when they don’t acknowledge or apologize for said mistakes, you’ve still got to find a way to forgive them.

Some of you are balking already. You might not feel like you can forgive everyone, especially if the person was your abuser or rapist or someone who harmed someone that you love. And I feel you. Trust me, I FEEL you! But stick with me for a second so I can explain to you what I mean by forgiveness.

Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting. It means detaching yourself from the pain and negativity that accompanied the grievance. There’s no real reason to hold on to negativity. What purpose does it serve? How does it help you grow? It doesn’t. So forgiveness becomes really important if you want to be your best self. You’ve got to get rid of negative energy and refuse to carry it around with you because holding a grudge can be like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Forgiving doesn’t mean you aren’t mad. Sometimes anger is cleansing. Sometimes it is more harmful to pretend that you aren’t hurt or angry or upset, because you are lying to yourself and those are the worst kinds of lies. The one person in life you can not, you must not lie to, is yourself. It’s pretty fruitless because you know the truth and you’re betraying your spirit when you lie to yourself.

This past year, oh who am I kidding, my entire life, I’ve taken the bumps and bruises served out by some people who didn’t have my best interest in mind. It angered me. And I carried the bitterness for way too long. Today I can say I’m a better person, still a work in progress, but better none the less.

So I challenge you to forgive someone, or at least begin the work it takes to forgive someone this week. How? Here are some tips:

    • Take a deep breath. As you exhale, picture all the negative energy leaving your body. As you inhale, imagine all the wonderful things life has to offer entering your body.
    • Write down all the things that caused you pain or grief or anger. Put the paper in a glass bowl and burn it while praying to a higher power to release the bad feelings and renew you with good feelings. Then flush the ashes.
    • Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Sometimes, our lack of forgiveness isn’t even about another person, it’s about being mad at yourself. Stop that shit! Give yourself a break. Love yourself.
    • Go near a body of  water and meditate as you watch the waves ebb and flow. If you can’t do that, go for a dip in a pool or take a bath or a shower. Relax in the water and imagine it washing away all the negativity.
    • Avoid negative energy at all costs. If you live with negative people, shorten your contact with them and practice loving them from a distance. Even if this negative person is a parent, you can still love them while lessening your interaction with them. Yes, they’ll probably notice your distance, and they might call you on it. Tell them you are focusing on becoming a better person for yourself and ask them to not take it personally. You’re just trying to grow. The old, “it’s not you, it’s me” line works wonders here. And if it gets too bad, consider cutting them off in a more distinct way.
    • Understand that misery loves company and hurt people, hurt people. Don’t take what someone else did to you personally. It’s probably more about them than you.
    • Listen to this song and let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go…

So are you up for the challenge? What do you need to let go of today? And if you’ve got tips for others, please share them in the comments below.

Peace & Positive Vibes,
Meta

 

The word meta, pronounced “metta,” is a bit different than my name, which is pronounced “may-tah,” but I love the former as much as the latter, especially because of the meaning.

Now, the meaning of my name is pretty awesome: it means sparkling like a rare jewel in Swahili. But the meaning of meta as a Greek prefix is probably a bit more awesome than my name. It means beyond, as in taking things to a higher level. And that’s what a productive life is!

Being productive is what the #MetaMondayChallenge is truly all about, not just putting my name in a hashtag. LOL! By making the first day of the workweek more productive, we are laying the foundation for a more productive week. And, we all need those!

This past week, I discovered a movie on YouTube, called The Meta Secret (it took zero prompting for me to click and see what that was all about!). It’s a continuation of the movie The Secret. The Meta Secret isn’t produced and directed by the same people as The Secret, but Bob Proctor, one of the stars of The Secret is behind it.

If you’re needing some motivation that goes beyond visualizing where you want to be, and you’re curious about The Law of Attraction, check this out! It will definitely give you some stuff to chew on.

Note: There’s a part in the YouTube video where the dialogue isn’t in English and English subtitles are covered with Thai subtitles, so you won’t really be able to completely get what they’re saying unless you speak Japanese or Thai, but DVD copies/rental of this movie are available at Amazon.com. You can also check out the book at Amazon.com.

You can also study these concepts in more depth by reading The Kybalion, which is widely published on the internet for free.

Enjoy!

Happy #MetavationMonday! Manifest greatness! And as always, peace & positive vibes!