For example when my guy does something that upsets me I will run it over and over in my mind. I’ll pick it apart and find every flaw in his words or actions. I’ll examine and assign motives without even communicating with him and before long I’m swimming in a cesspool of negative emotions. I suck right? You better had said “No!” Because I don’t suck! And neither do you because I know you do the exact same thing. C’mon. Admit it!
But what good does filling my mind with negative thoughts do? NONE!
It doesn’t change the situation and only serves to make me re-mad (I know that isn’t a word but I say it all the time and you know exactly what I mean). So I’m basically fuming and fussing (and cussing) about the same thing on multiple occasions. By this time, my guy has tuned out because that’s generally what people do when they get nagged about the same thing over and over again. And nothing changes. At least not for the better.
But I’ve noticed that things definitely not only improve but transform when I stop focusing on what is making me angry or upset with him and turn that focus onto something wonderful that is going on in my life. Because filling up my headspace with something that I’m happy about is so much more productive than filling it with negativity!
This change in focus isn’t just a relationship fix though. Guarding your thoughts and making sure that the bad ones don’t get in your head works miracles with your career and your finances!
Imagine how much a salesperson can sell if they meet their clients with an upbeat and positive attitude instead of appearing defeated before they even make a pitch. I’ve known quite a few successful salespeople and they always walk into their meetings the picture of confidence and capability. They claim the sale before they set foot on the client’s premises.
And we’ve all heard the saying, “It takes money to make money!” That’s because money is a magnet if you look at it properly. Some people look at that saying from a totally skewed perception, and think that they can’t prosper because they don’t have enough money. But the saying doesn’t say, “It takes a lot of money to make money.” It doesn’t even say you have to have enough money. It just says it takes some. So even if you’re down to your last penny, you still have some money and the ability to make some more. Don’t you know someone who always seems to land on their financial feet no matter what comes their way? I bet they didn’t have a negative attitude!
So how do you do it? After all, filling your mind with positive thoughts when your world is falling apart ain’t easy. Or is it? It can be!
Here are some tips to keep your mind overflowing with positive thoughts!
Identify negative thought patterns
Chances are you already know the negative self-talk you engage in. Thoughts like, “I hate my job and I’ll be stuck here forever!” or “I’m never going to find a man.” Be honest about all the bullshit you tell yourself about yourself, your life situation and about others. Journaling is an excellent way to monitor the things that go on in your head.
Stop that stinkin’ thinkin’!
There’s no good in identifying negative thoughts if you aren’t going to stop thinking them. You’re not identifying them to dwell on them! So when the dark clouds start to gather in your head, send in a gust to blow them away! Distract yourself with art or poetry or music. Bust a move in the living room or the bathroom or your car. You can even literally say out loud to yourself, “STOP!” Do what you must, but cut the crappy cerebral action STAT!
Retrain your brain!
Identifying negative thought patterns isn’t enough. And stopping the thoughts isn’t enough. (Yeah there’s a little work to this filling the mind with good things, but it’s worth it!) You’ve got to replace those negative thought patterns with positive ones. This may mean saying out loud or writing your replacement thought. I’m a big fan of writing things because it also trains the brain that you are acting on something. It makes things more tangible and lasting. Instead of complaining that you’re overweight, try saying, “I’m eating healthy and working out and I feel great! My body is changing already from the inside out.” Maybe you aren’t really doing these things, but if you keep saying it or writing it, you will start to! It’s like the great prophet and Funkateer George Clinton said, “Free your mind and your ass will follow.” (*Young heads, please look up George Clinton and don’t make me feel old!)
Use your words!
Your vocabulary is everything! Change the way you talk, change your life! Stop saying things like “I can’t” and “I don’t have” and “I don’t know how”. Statements like these are really limiting and have no business coming out of your mouth! Say “I can” or my favorite “I AM!” I think that those are two of the most powerful words in the universe because what ever follows you must become. You’ll feel great, I promise! Try it! Say, “I am beautiful!” “I am wealthy!” “I have a great life!” Feels good huh? If it doesn’t, keep on saying it until you start to tingle a little.
Make some Lemonade!
It’s amazing how many women love Beyonce’s Lemonade but aren’t aware that they don’t actually have to be Yonce (See what I did there?) in order to manifest their own experience of turning a negative to a positive in their own lives. Lost your job? Start a business! The work you have to put it won’t give you enough time to cry over the spilled milk of a gig that is now a part of your past. Broke up with your BF or GF? Relish being single! Travel and do all the things you planned to do with your significant other by your dammy! When things don’t turn out quite the way we desire the first time, we can try again or adjust or dreams (by making them bigger – I don’t believe in downgrading my fantasies!).
Well ladies and gents, I hope you’re feeling full of positive energy! Oops! Let me adjust my language. I KNOW you’re feeling full of positive energy. You’re ready to tackle anything that comes your way. So what are you sitting around reading for? C’mon go-getters, get going!