It’s the greatest love of all! At least that’s what Whitney Houston belted out in her eponymous rendition of the song that is synonymous with self-love.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve walked through a great deal of my life with rose colored glasses on. I’m the eternal optimist, the girl who sees the good in everyone and everything. It’s a great trait to have at times, but I have to admit that it may actually have been a fault of mine. Sometimes I see good that isn’t there, and sometimes I operate under the assumption that the people in my life love themselves.Β I mean, who doesn’t love themselves, right?

Image result for i hate myself gif

Well, I’ve come to learn as I’ve grown older that a lot of people don’t (and from the looks of the gif above, I should have realized that around the the tenth time I saw “The Breakfast Club”!)Β It’s sad, but it’s a fact of life that I’ve had to come to grips with. There are some people who hate themselves so much that they can’t help but be toxic in the lives of others. Their communication style is poisonous; they don’t know how to listen or speak, and frequently shut people out as punishment and never truly working at joint problem solving. They don’t know how to give love or receive it so they aren’t good at keeping sincere, close relationships. And they often blame everyone else for the bitterness and misery that they find in their lives instead of analyzing themselves and changing their own behaviors.

Perhaps you aren’t quite this far gone and you aren’t what people would call miserable or bitter, but maybe you battle with self-confidence or self-esteem issues. You let people take advantage of you and mistreat you and use you because you want acceptance and love, and you’ll sacrifice the acceptance and love that you have for yourself in order to find it somewhere else. That’s no way to live.

At the heart of the matter, it’s probably safe to say that we all battle with treating ourselves like the royalty that we are from time to time. But there’s hope for all of us.

Try incorporating these 3 simple things into your life.

  1. Write yourself a love letter. Yeah it sounds cheesy, but what’s the harm in a little cheese? Tell yourself all the things you admire about you, the things you might be dreaming of hearing from someone else. Write how much you appreciate your own uniqueness and inner (and outer) beauty. Do this any time you need to boost your spirits.
  2. Start a cleanse. Detox your body from the inside out. Eliminate processed and fast food and eat sensibly. Try a raw diet. Do something radical (but HEALTHY) with your diet. Drink lots of water. Literally flush your body of bad things and fill it with good things. Love the temple that you’ve been blessed with. You might decide to make the lifestyle changes permanent.
  3. Pamper the skin you’re in. Rub yourself down in shea butter or coconut oil with loving strokes. Speak kindly to your body, telling it that you’re grateful for the role it plays in your life. For example, as you slather your legs, thank them for taking you where you need to go. As you moisturize your hands, thank them for the work that they do preparing meals, caring for your family, doing the work at your job, etc. Basically, love yourself up while rubbing yourself down. I’m not saying to take it “there” but if that’s where it goes, so it goes!

I have loads more tips and life hacks on how to love yourself so fiercely that you completely change your life, and will be sharing them LIVE on Periscope on Monday, March 27 at 6 PM, CST. There’s also going to be a ton of good stuff in my upcoming book Queening – A Guide to Treating Yourself like Royalty and Radically Changing Your Life. Make sure to add me on Periscope and join in, and if you’re busy then, you can catch me pon de replay.

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